Friday, September 7, 2007

Tales From The Crib

Oh and I'm back. Been so long. So long since I yakked consistently about myself and just how terribly troubled my troubles are! Aaw.
"Aaw"...i just hate the word.(First crib). It sounds like something that would bounce merrily off Paris Hilton. But from me it just sounds like the second letter won't roll sexily enough. Like a journalist owning a chihuahua (is that the spelling of the infernally ugly-cute dog?).

Now that I've warmed up after my first crib the other cribs might just roll off way easier than the pronunciation of "aaw". Is it "aaw" or "aww" anyway? Explains a lot about why i don't like to say it so much. Another reason is i hardly sympathize with anyone else. 'Cause obviously I'm too busy sympathizing with myself!!! Tee Hee.

The second crib is easier said than done obviously. I'm thinking and thinking and nothing will bloody come!Gaah! I'm running short of those goddamn suckers. Lately my life has been so smooth and nice that's it's annoyingly difficult to find anything to crib about. One would think that, all it takes is a pause and a crib gently fall into your arms like Madhuri Dixit in dhak dhak. Okay, maybe not gently, but cribs do have this "presence" about them. Not easily ignorable. Waitaminute! I seem to have cribbed about the very act of not being able to crib. Ah!Sheer genius :)

Truth be told, the principle reason I came to write was, this "witty" and "scintillating" observation i made on a social networking site. Let's not mention the name of the site, as it provides diarrhoea aesthetically speaking and severe anti-social-itis in terms of people quotient. Anyway, on this site I observed as people were keenly uploading the varied-est variety of wow-ey wow pictures. People have started to look amazing! Like have you noticed old photographs? Your mother and father in their younger days, flower power and ugly pants aside, they look like your mother an father. This in spite of the fact that my mother is a particularly pretty woman. But at least she doesn't look like Zeenat Aman In Adyar! However nowadays, (even as i cunningly add "shadows" to my photo in Picasa) I've noticed that my best friends could give Rekha a run for her pouty money. They brood majestically in some snaps, they laugh boisterously in others, they look charmingly coy in some and alarmingly sexy in some more! No doubt I am hugely jealous, the only time i manage to look anywhere close to normalcy is when i looking at my feet or away from the camera or pretending to be serious. Otherwise of course it takes an immensely talented photographer or my sudden fears about evil friends who leave no doubts about their uploadation skills to make me sit still or (God Forbid) look sexy.

These days I made another "keenly cunning" observation. Again about photographs and social networking. (Goes to show what a "keenly fascinating" life I lead). Anyway, the observation was on subtle bitchiness. Ever notice how your not-so-favourite person will always call you "photogenic"? Be not fooled my friends, for this is an evil trick of the exacting kind. The trick appeals to her inner most villain I'm sure. For what she means to say is, " Not bad, a camera can pull a trick or two". Considering I've played this particularly bitchy card more than once in my life, along with my equally bitchy friends and close family, it is a trick that women alone understand. Men of course will be too busy trying to find brownies amongst the Ku Klux Klan.

3 comments:

more than medusa said...

I like the conclusion, although I have no idea what you were referring to when pairing men with brownies and the ku klux (or whatever) clan.

Also, I agree, you do look pretty when you look elsewhere from the camera :-).

About the Hindi movies - slap me!

About cribbing! - Don't even start!
Please! :-)

sgm said...

Tooooo long..... i fell asleep half way through. brevity is the soul of wit.

will try finishing it tomm.

greju b-lot stephen said...

i agree...cribbing is truly the nectar of the us. my blog exists solely to crib.
ask not what others can crib to you, but what u can crib to others.