Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Horrible Living Conditions

One would think living opposite a church would somehow make me a better person. Unfortunately, it is not so...
I wake up every sunday morning with a jerk (hallelujah in tamil is a little rattling). It comes with this nasal twang and odd pronunciation AA-LEY-LOO-YA! Also it throws you exactly one step back, it is rather loud and exuberant.
Religion apparently has that quality in this country, it bombards you in every sense. When you sit for hindu "hommam" holy smoke assaults your lungs in a thoroughly unholy manner. So i'm not evil anti-christ and let me make that very clear :)
Not only does the church murder my sundays, i even have ugly curtains.They remind me of a brothel in an Irving Wallace paperback. They are a dull navy blue with golden spangles. And no...they are not mine. They charmingly block the sunlight but also give the room an ominous feel...like impending doom?
They are so ugly!!!
And my land lady....ah...she is so scarce! For a woman of her proportions, it never ceases to surprise me how she makes herself known ONLY on the first of the month. Houdini would be overwhelmed! My land lady has a policy( apart from the invisibility one) that every tenant must be squeezed for all she's worth. And All She's Worth every month is apparently another diamond stud in my land lady's over large ear. Even that over large ear does not hold place for that many diamonds....my humble nose pin shudders in their dazzling presence. But such is life, one must have an over large, dazzling land lady with the will of Hitler and skill of Houdini.
I have decided for myself. When i retire I'm going to be one much like the above mentioned lady. I'm going to own a damp seepage ridden house with many musty bedrooms and no sunlight and make poor poverty ridden young tube lights marvel at my ways.
I'm gonna have to abruptly end my post as I'm going to look for another house.