Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Should this post have a name?

If you ever had the chance to name a mermaid. (This is a purely hypothetical situation). (Obviously). Would you ever name her Jumbo?

No, right? Mermaids are sleek, pretty things of grace and romantic possibility. And Jumbo is. Well, Jumbo is an elephant. Every mental image screams so. Jumbo cannot be anything graceful or delicate. Jumbo must be large, ungainly, cute even. But not mermaid-like.

Jumbo is elephant cliche. Just like Fluffy is always a white Pomeranian. And Moti is the street dog in Delhi. And Blackie is a doberman. And Lucky is a Singh. And Rahul is Shah Rukh Khan twanging at your heart strings for Rs 300/- only.

It's also very strange that I've noticed a lot of tall men have really long names. As if to announce that the bearer of the name Satyendranath Patnekar is a tall guy. Make no mistake.

And those who have long names always get squished at weddings. No, let me explain. Say Satyendranath Patnekar got married to Aishwariya Bhupalam. (Purely hypothetical people). Their banner, outside the wedding hall would read Satyendranath Patnekar weds Aishwariya Bhupalam. And the last four letters in Patnekar would be squished in really close. So as to come within the banner. "The banner painter can't help it if the bloody name is so LONG!"

Then there are those that inflict a life long joke on their children by naming them oddly. Like there was a girl I didn't know in college but heard was called An Innocent Flower Called Mary. And another girl called Innocent Virgin. Tsk tsk.

This without even talking about nicknames. I find it extremely hard to call people by their nicknames. I feel like I'm impinging on their privacy. Especially cause there are those who liberally create nicknames for you (sweet ones, THEY think), even though they don't know you. Those really make me cringe.

I have a lot more to say. But I'll do this another time. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named demands my attention on an orange window.

8 comments:

S said...

Hahaha..
An Innocent Flower Called Mary !!
Are you serious ?!!?

Oh and I hate people nick naming me too..unfortunately I do have a long name that can be "nick-ed"

:)
P.S:
I enjoyed reading ur blog, following u :)

Usha said...

Hey S!

Thank you. And apparently there was a girl like that. I'm pretty sure everyone resorted to calling her Mary. :)

Anonymous said...

Insinuations, aplenty. Or am i giving myself a little too much importance.

This is entertainment of some sort, i say.

Usha said...

@anonymous: I wasn't speaking of any particular people. Just making observations. So whoever you are, don't give yourself so much importance :)

Anonymous said...

hey great blog :D
me shall follow :P

Da Rodent said...

Ok.. My mom's name is 'joan of arc' :P Crazy grandfather :P But, 'An Innocent Flower Called Mary' is way too much.

ankur said...

any observation is bound to influence the event being observed , observer thus becomes part of the system and a causal factor in the event.

heisenberg uncertainity principle

if a fruit fell from a tree in a jungle and there was no one to hear would it still make a noise?

Usha said...

that being said, would the fruit make a different noise, if it knew it were being watched?

but people become conscious when they know you are looking at them. which is why dark glasses work so well, if you're staring.