It's not nice to say fat these days. Yes, i know. But i really don't care. My eyes are bloodshot and i feel a little woozy. Also, i spent a major portion of the night having an "out-of-body" experience. Because i could not bear to associate myself with the poor squashed creature being mangled by a well padded bottom. I'll explain.
I was travelling from Goa to Bombay, alone, brave, freshly separated from the love of my life, slightly teary and definitely not in the mood to be felt up by a weird man. So i did the "smart" thing and asked to be seated next to a lady. Right away! And bingo, i found myself perched on a sleeper next to a sweet (oh how ignorant we are) beaming, little (oh how ignorant we are) lady.
She beamed, i beamed back, through oodles of dirt and Goa tan. She didn't miss my teeth, my face offset them very well. And altogether we had a mighty pleasant beaming session. How else is one supposed to greet a stranger you share a bed with for a night!
So far, so good.
Then our lady of the beams decided to sleep. And boy...there have been times when I've thought myself capable of murder, but none as intense as THESE! She just would NOT sleep. She would twist and turn and moan (with no help from me, thankuverymuch) every single second. This, coupled with my aching neck, no less than three persistent mosquitoes, three more imaginary ones and a very large and space consuming bottom reduced me to an angry young woman indeed! How i survived to tell the tale, i will never know. But i did survive and today, you know a woman, who almost got squashed to death, by a beaming face with a huge bottom. But survived. To tell the tale.