I can't remember the last time i had a spot of drink and came back home happy and swaying. This is not because i regularly pass out after drinking. But simply because, I haven't been able to stomach a drop of alcohol in the last, i-don't-remember-when.
I'm sure, some people would agree, this is a perfectly wonderful thing (my mother being one of the chief screamers). However, I am of the opinion that, i have been singularly deprived. It is terribly dampening. I'll explain why.
Say the whole world (which now comprises your table) is drunk. They are all wasted and jubilant. However, you have no idea why! You have no clue what was so funny about the last joke. You also don't know why some people choose to weep when they stub their toe and recollect their failed love lives all at once. You also think (and you're the only person who thinks so) that dancing when drunk is a tad embarrassing. Uh-Oh. You are indeed the official spoiler.
So never mind what your liver says about Liver Rights Hepatitis Section 101. God has made you a lesser mortal. Because if you can't drink, you can't exist. If the dirty looks don't kill you, the humour will.