Monday, June 29, 2009

Of Bananas and Perverts

I'm in Bangalore. Finally.

I get off the airport bus in the dingy Kalyan nagar bustop(?) and am greeted with the pretty sight of an ugly man jerking off. Oh. Now he is chasing me. My bag predictably breaks a handle. I run ungracefully and jump into a moving auto. I'm hardly a walking sitcom.Or is the world secretly watching me and laughing?

The mother greets me with a standard, "you are too thin". I don't complain. Until she ruthlessly aims a banana in my mouth.

My little cousins play magic tricks and i feel pretty shocked. And a little useless. I was obsessed with Barbies at that age. Thankfully i did read. But mostly, i played with air and had double conversations with myself, in two selves. I hope you understand.

And then there are the friends. Sadly i have decided to fall deeply in love with my good friend's brother. So 70% of our conversation revolves around him. The lucky dog! And I'm sure neither she nor me like this very much.

I read like a bloody maniac. Anything with the printed word on it grabs my eyeballs like a vice. I can't stop reading!!!! I'm walking with a book everywhere and no one can talk to me without me yawning cruelly and turning to my book. It reminds me scarily of a friend who read so intensively that he couldn't you know, take a dump without reading. He, poor thing, read the back of toothpaste tubes in desperation sometimes. This little anecdote was NOT about me. Apologies for the gross imagery that might've hit my more visual friends.

On the Bangalore note, I've also been viciously attacked by a crippling laziness. I'm quite enjoying it though.

More later. Laziness needs me.

8 comments:

pure said...

:-) kinda nice weather for a visit - not that hot.
In my defense, I consider reading while taking a dump isn't as bad as smoking to do so.

Meera said...

yuuuuck. who does that?? gross!!!

Rasika Raghavan said...

suggest some good books?

Meera said...

sue townsend. adrian mole. the entire series. quite a funny.

pure said...

u don't know many men, do you :-P

Meera said...

if thisis how other men are, i know more than enough! :P

pure said...

i agree

malted socktail said...

im probably reading this a tad too late.
but i think i should either fall in to the friends category or the kennel club atleast
how dare u complain of laziness and boredom ... this after not calling me for the umpteenth time.
a dog is man's best friend...u on the other hand.... hmmmm....
bloody mongrel! :)