Clubbing on Saturday night is something everyone wants to do.They all want to dance, in the same places, at the same time, in the same clothes, elbowing the same people where even if their faces are different, it's too dark to know. So, clubbing on Saturday night, is not for the faint hearted or the quiet sort.
Now, I, Possessor Of This Secret Knowledge, Owner of That Faint Heart, Hater of The Crowds, decided to party on Saturday night.
And now, i will never do so again. Because,
1: I love my elbows.
2: I like to have feeling in my toes.
3: Stiletoes on larger women are unhealthy.
4: I feel dishonest when I grin and shake my head to what someone is saying, simply cause i can't hear them.
5: The above instance also leaves me feeling stupid.
6: My body is oddly adapted to dance.
7: My body is even more oddly adapted to dance when mixed with alcohol.
8: I can't wear heels.
9: I don't want to flush champagne down the toilet, please don't buy me any. I feel guilty.
10: I don't want to force myself to be witty, funny, sarcastic and charming to a complete stranger. Especially one who grins moronically.