Angling Conversation

I'm sure at any point in time, everyone except a recluse or currently the Pope (going by his thoughtless talk) have undergone conversation stress.

I'll tell you what conversation stress is. That very blank, painful state where you have to think of something to say to someone who you don't know very well. In most cases, you don't even care to know this person, but you are together at some social event or another, obliged to make "small talk".

Small talk is very stupidly named, it's the word equivalent of calling Serena Williams, fragile.

Think about it, small talk requires massive effort. I for one totally suck at it. Imagine there were a thirty year old, slightly pissed off woman, sitting across the table from you. She likes some guy at your table and imagines everything female within 50 meters is a threat. You are dying to tell her the man in question looks like the back end of a chumming bull (if there were such a thing, but there is not). Only she is so deeply in love(?) or desperation, that she won't quite get it. So you look for solace in small talk. Maybe you could win her undying friendship tonight with your witty banter.

Except you cannot. Because you don't know what to say. Except (insert polite laugh here), "that's a nice bag, where did you get it?"

At which point she will give your hippie/roadside clothing the evil eye and haughtily eject, "Mango".

End of conversation. I turn to the man now. And completely lose the battle and end up with enough negative energy from the thirty-something to sprout a pimple.

Point being i hate small talk. It takes a lot more thinking than the best ad i ever wrote. Plus, i don't need pimples.